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Before you write an inmate...

The show Love after Lockup is a huge hit, predominately because it's impossible to not watch a train wreck. If you are determined to learn nothing from this show, read on.

A human being can actually change their entire life around for the better and be a better person. Those issue are frequently lurking in the back ground, ever present, waiting for the moment to pounce. Are they redeemed? Possibly, but having a romantic relationship with someone who is fighting demons, sometimes on a daily basis, is harder then the average relationship.

There is absolutely a culture behind bars to swindle money from unsuspecting persons who are not familiar with street or jail culture. If you are not educated about how that life works, you are sitting there like a raw steak on a silver platter for a predator. It does seem that women do this more often so beware of extremely good looking and sexy photos intended to lure you. I have heard of men doing it but it would be the exceptional inmate to pull that off. (for a good example of this, watch Scott and Lizzie from Love after Lockup season two as she is very honest about what she did and how she did it.)

I have done death row ministry for very many years. I chose death row inmates because they are not getting out and if they are innocent, the last thing they would do is hunt someone down who supported them to kill. If you want to reach out for missionary purposes that's great, but commit to never sending money or putting money on their accounts. You will quickly be able to determine if this is a valid friendship or not. If it isn't, it is likely they will make demands stating you just don't understand how hard it is, or other manipulative ploys.

Remember, these people are not in PRISON for skipping church or singing off key in the choir. They have committed very serious crimes. Yes, people can be rehabilitated, but with the lack of programming that is both available and effective, chances are they have not been. I have seen and known people who have, but it was because they came to the realization that who they were and what they thought was the issue. They stopped being a “victim of the system” and took personal responsibility for their past actions without excuse.

You can absolutely build genuine relationships with people behind bars. It takes time and effort and you must be clear about your intentions. It's not that different then buying a vehicle. If you go to a sleazy small car lot, your gut will flip and scream that you should not trust the salesman. If you encounter a sincere salesman at a reputable lot, you will experience something different. You have discernment for a reason, I strongly recommend you utilize it.

Avoid pen pal sites, instead, contact the chaplain of the prison you are interested in writing people and get a recommendation from the chaplain or give him your address as a means of support for whatever religion you are currently involved with.




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